Finally a post - Ronald Colle: The Unforgettable Anecdote, Part 1
This is the summer in France, and since there is nothing to do in this country, I don't do much, and this blog would agree as it reflects my boring life through its posts. So I randomly dug up some articles in my documents folder, especially the ones I sent Dr.Colle before passing my IB when I used to be in EaB, when we used to take classes with the worst teacher of all time; Mr.Nistor. Don't ask who he is, don't ask anything about him. Just tell yourself that he's the worst teacher ever in all subjects ever. Ronald Colle, on the other hand, was the best teacher I've ever had, and perhaps one of the best math teachers ever. Once Colle left the country, it was such a bold and radical move to replace him with the worst teacher ever.
Anywho, I used to send him a couple of mails to tell him what was up. I dug some up to keep this blog alive. Here's one of the first, to get you familiar with his character:
Anywho, I used to send him a couple of mails to tell him what was up. I dug some up to keep this blog alive. Here's one of the first, to get you familiar with his character:
Dear Ashen, et alia....
Please excuse my very, very, very, very, very long delay in replying to your email.
I just noticed that it was sent on 1 Novembre.
Egad, is it really 27 Decembre!
...and nearly the end of another year in this old man’s life.
Alas, I am pretty horrible at keeping up with my personal email. Don’t feel too bad, if you feel neglected.
You are on a long list with many other people that I really care about, but never quite find the time to write to.
Please share this note with all of my other favorite students from math 501.
Don’t show it to those who are not favorites (you know who you are...)
OK, so let Teoman see it...
and the melodiously-voiced IDA (aka Imashi) too ....
I really do miss you guys.
I often think about how you are doing.
I still fondly recall our Christmas party from last year.
I know your new math teacher (or any teacher) will never, ever, ever be as good as I was!
Yes, I know Nistor is a bad joke, being played on you.
HA .. HA .. by Conchard
Remember one of my aphorisms:
"Life's a bitch, and then you die."
I imagine that EAB must be incredibly boring without me.
Who else made you work hard, but made you laugh?
Who screams and yells at you now?
You tells you about their life experiences..
... and how life really works?
You surely must miss the Collé version of TOK .
It's called the "reality of life."
I regret not being there to get you ready for the IB exam.
Nevertheless, I got you all reasonably well prepared.
You'll just have to do more on your own.
Get a copy of the syllabus topics and use it as a check list for what you know and don't know.
I believe I successfully got EAB to get new text books that actually cover the syllabus (it took me forever to approve this).
It is time for you to do nothing but start working exam-style questions.
Get Nistor to give you copies of past exams to work.
If he doesn't do it, then go to Dr. Benison and INSIST that you get some past exams to work.
Yes, you can INSIST, your parents pay big bucks for you to attend this school and you deserve to be prepared for the exams. Quote me.
Mme. Ilva Dalen will support your requests. She is one of your champions too.
You really must get familiar with doing exam-style questions.
Let me know what happens.
So how are your math projects?
I would have loved going through these with you...
It would have been so much fun with your class; compared to all the aggravation I had from last year's 2nd year IB losers.
Daniel, did you ever figure out the "last" way to determine the area of an irregularly-shaped plane figure? How about tracing it onto a piece of paper (with uniform and determinable surface density), cutout the shape, and then weigh it. For example, measure out a 4 cm x 4 cm square on the paper. Weigh this 16 cm2 piece to get the mass per unit area. Then weigh your irregular shape and divide by the mass per unit area of the paper to get the unknown area. Pretty simple... no?
Somehow, I'll bet you not only miss me, but also miss our dear friend JANE (aka Gigya). Does anyone have her address?
So what about me?
How come I'm not there at EAB ?? in Paris ???? Yelling at you guys??
Do you remember how I used to always talk about "the big sacks of money" ?
Well, I returned to the USA to my old lab to pick up a few of these big sacks, inasmuch as you guys never were able to adequately bribe me for good grades.
Lenny, of course, was always willing, but his offers were a mere pittance....
much too insignificant to consider seriously ....
My new job keeps me very, very busy.
I, unfortunately, can not just sit around and "think great thoughts" like I used to do in my old job here.
They ("powers-that-be") asked me to come back and fix a research program that wasn't working well. So, I'm stuck actually having to work very hard, for many hours every day. I also have to train some new Ph.D scientists to "get with the Collé program" so that science will still go on after I ascend into heaven (with a puff of smoke). Oh yes, the Collé program at a post-doctoral level is sort of an advanced non-Benison TOK with more sarcasm and more realism...
Well I'm slowly adjusting to being back in the US, but I miss Paris, and my past life there, like mad. I'm having a harder time adjusting to working full-time again in the lab. Also, what I'm doing now is more time demanding than anything I've had to do for decades.
Yes, my job not only keeps me busy, but they occasionally let me go out in public and travel. I had two brief travels in the US (one was to Washington State on the Pacific coast which was delightful if you just love ENDLESS RAIN). In early decembre, I also spent 11 days in Krakow (6 for work!). Do you know it? It is a fabulous place. I gave a talk and was at the Jagiellonian University, which, almost unbelievably, was founded in 1364 by one of the Polish kings. I think this is only about 100 or so years after the beginning of the Sorbonne (but I'm not too sure). The university is really one of the great European universities and is quite well known. I had been to Warsaw twice, which is also quite interesting, but Krakow is decidedly better. ? I had hoped to be able to stop over in Paris on my return, but I just could not manage it with all the work I have to get done.
I'm hoping to make a visit to Paris in the Spring.
If I do, then I hope to be able to arrange a time when we can get together and have a class reunion, of sorts...
I'll bet you guys also must miss hearing all about the ongoings of Arthur (my son, 13) and Sophie (my daughter, 9).
They too have been undergoing big adjustments. Arthur is still in constant communication with all of his old Parisian friends, particularly all the girls.. .
He finds the school work easier, but misses the independence he had in Paris, in terms of just being able to get out -- using public transportation to get around, to do things, and to see friends. Here in Washington, DC, we are much more captives of automobile transportation. His favorite expression when I ask him about his school work is: "It's all good." I slowly came to realize that the expression really means: "I don't care, and don't really want to talk about it." Sophie, the youngest and most mature member our family, is still just Sophie. She does well everywhere, and anywhere. This is the first time in her life (ever) that she is attending an all English-speaking school and seems to be coping (adequately) with the Anglophones. She fortunately doesn't use the expression: "It's all good." We (her and I), of course, still speak BOOGALOO (our own language) which helps to maintain our individual sanity.
We are living in an upscale neighborhood in Bethesda just outside Washington, DC in Maryland (its kind of like: what Bethesda is to Wash. is what Neuilly is to Paris). We are renting a house (small by US standards, huge by Paris standards) with a big garden. It is near where I used to live, and we belong to the same swim and tennis club. I try to get there sometime, but I'm still fat.
So now, here are your NEW YEAR assignments:
I want to hear from each of you.
I will answer, but who knows when!!
How are you? Tell me.
Give me details, not meaningless generalizations..
What is your math project?
Send it to me. I might find time to comment (no promises).
Send me photos.
Who's in the class now? Who came, who went?
I did get the EAB 50th anniv. DVD, which I enjoyed, but those EAB bandits made me pay for it twice.. a long story here. ...
I've written a lot. So you all owe me.
I attach two photos:
(1) of me, so you remember (and recall what AWE was all about).
PRINT IT OUT. HANG IT IN FRONT OF YOUR STUDY DESK FOR INSPIRATION.
(2) of our 2004 Christmas holiday celebration –
Alas, in regard to # 2,
Ashen took the photo and isn't in it.
What ever happened to Lisa? How come she didn't get a new name?
None of the new guys ( louie, mamoon, ..... ) are there
And then, I recall we had a few transients too..
Like the girl who never, ever smiled.... ever
ALL OF YOU,
HAVE MY FONDEST REGARDS....
FOR THE NEW YEAR....
AND FOREVER....,
Your Doctor Collé
Please excuse my very, very, very, very, very long delay in replying to your email.
I just noticed that it was sent on 1 Novembre.
Egad, is it really 27 Decembre!
...and nearly the end of another year in this old man’s life.
Alas, I am pretty horrible at keeping up with my personal email. Don’t feel too bad, if you feel neglected.
You are on a long list with many other people that I really care about, but never quite find the time to write to.
Please share this note with all of my other favorite students from math 501.
Don’t show it to those who are not favorites (you know who you are...)
OK, so let Teoman see it...
and the melodiously-voiced IDA (aka Imashi) too ....
I really do miss you guys.
I often think about how you are doing.
I still fondly recall our Christmas party from last year.
I know your new math teacher (or any teacher) will never, ever, ever be as good as I was!
Yes, I know Nistor is a bad joke, being played on you.
HA .. HA .. by Conchard
Remember one of my aphorisms:
"Life's a bitch, and then you die."
I imagine that EAB must be incredibly boring without me.
Who else made you work hard, but made you laugh?
Who screams and yells at you now?
You tells you about their life experiences..
... and how life really works?
You surely must miss the Collé version of TOK .
It's called the "reality of life."
I regret not being there to get you ready for the IB exam.
Nevertheless, I got you all reasonably well prepared.
You'll just have to do more on your own.
Get a copy of the syllabus topics and use it as a check list for what you know and don't know.
I believe I successfully got EAB to get new text books that actually cover the syllabus (it took me forever to approve this).
It is time for you to do nothing but start working exam-style questions.
Get Nistor to give you copies of past exams to work.
If he doesn't do it, then go to Dr. Benison and INSIST that you get some past exams to work.
Yes, you can INSIST, your parents pay big bucks for you to attend this school and you deserve to be prepared for the exams. Quote me.
Mme. Ilva Dalen will support your requests. She is one of your champions too.
You really must get familiar with doing exam-style questions.
Let me know what happens.
So how are your math projects?
I would have loved going through these with you...
It would have been so much fun with your class; compared to all the aggravation I had from last year's 2nd year IB losers.
Daniel, did you ever figure out the "last" way to determine the area of an irregularly-shaped plane figure? How about tracing it onto a piece of paper (with uniform and determinable surface density), cutout the shape, and then weigh it. For example, measure out a 4 cm x 4 cm square on the paper. Weigh this 16 cm2 piece to get the mass per unit area. Then weigh your irregular shape and divide by the mass per unit area of the paper to get the unknown area. Pretty simple... no?
Somehow, I'll bet you not only miss me, but also miss our dear friend JANE (aka Gigya). Does anyone have her address?
So what about me?
How come I'm not there at EAB ?? in Paris ???? Yelling at you guys??
Do you remember how I used to always talk about "the big sacks of money" ?
Well, I returned to the USA to my old lab to pick up a few of these big sacks, inasmuch as you guys never were able to adequately bribe me for good grades.
Lenny, of course, was always willing, but his offers were a mere pittance....
much too insignificant to consider seriously ....
My new job keeps me very, very busy.
I, unfortunately, can not just sit around and "think great thoughts" like I used to do in my old job here.
They ("powers-that-be") asked me to come back and fix a research program that wasn't working well. So, I'm stuck actually having to work very hard, for many hours every day. I also have to train some new Ph.D scientists to "get with the Collé program" so that science will still go on after I ascend into heaven (with a puff of smoke). Oh yes, the Collé program at a post-doctoral level is sort of an advanced non-Benison TOK with more sarcasm and more realism...
Well I'm slowly adjusting to being back in the US, but I miss Paris, and my past life there, like mad. I'm having a harder time adjusting to working full-time again in the lab. Also, what I'm doing now is more time demanding than anything I've had to do for decades.
Yes, my job not only keeps me busy, but they occasionally let me go out in public and travel. I had two brief travels in the US (one was to Washington State on the Pacific coast which was delightful if you just love ENDLESS RAIN). In early decembre, I also spent 11 days in Krakow (6 for work!). Do you know it? It is a fabulous place. I gave a talk and was at the Jagiellonian University, which, almost unbelievably, was founded in 1364 by one of the Polish kings. I think this is only about 100 or so years after the beginning of the Sorbonne (but I'm not too sure). The university is really one of the great European universities and is quite well known. I had been to Warsaw twice, which is also quite interesting, but Krakow is decidedly better. ? I had hoped to be able to stop over in Paris on my return, but I just could not manage it with all the work I have to get done.
I'm hoping to make a visit to Paris in the Spring.
If I do, then I hope to be able to arrange a time when we can get together and have a class reunion, of sorts...
I'll bet you guys also must miss hearing all about the ongoings of Arthur (my son, 13) and Sophie (my daughter, 9).
They too have been undergoing big adjustments. Arthur is still in constant communication with all of his old Parisian friends, particularly all the girls.. .
He finds the school work easier, but misses the independence he had in Paris, in terms of just being able to get out -- using public transportation to get around, to do things, and to see friends. Here in Washington, DC, we are much more captives of automobile transportation. His favorite expression when I ask him about his school work is: "It's all good." I slowly came to realize that the expression really means: "I don't care, and don't really want to talk about it." Sophie, the youngest and most mature member our family, is still just Sophie. She does well everywhere, and anywhere. This is the first time in her life (ever) that she is attending an all English-speaking school and seems to be coping (adequately) with the Anglophones. She fortunately doesn't use the expression: "It's all good." We (her and I), of course, still speak BOOGALOO (our own language) which helps to maintain our individual sanity.
We are living in an upscale neighborhood in Bethesda just outside Washington, DC in Maryland (its kind of like: what Bethesda is to Wash. is what Neuilly is to Paris). We are renting a house (small by US standards, huge by Paris standards) with a big garden. It is near where I used to live, and we belong to the same swim and tennis club. I try to get there sometime, but I'm still fat.
So now, here are your NEW YEAR assignments:
I want to hear from each of you.
I will answer, but who knows when!!
How are you? Tell me.
Give me details, not meaningless generalizations..
What is your math project?
Send it to me. I might find time to comment (no promises).
Send me photos.
Who's in the class now? Who came, who went?
I did get the EAB 50th anniv. DVD, which I enjoyed, but those EAB bandits made me pay for it twice.. a long story here. ...
I've written a lot. So you all owe me.
I attach two photos:
(1) of me, so you remember (and recall what AWE was all about).
PRINT IT OUT. HANG IT IN FRONT OF YOUR STUDY DESK FOR INSPIRATION.
(2) of our 2004 Christmas holiday celebration –
Alas, in regard to # 2,
Ashen took the photo and isn't in it.
What ever happened to Lisa? How come she didn't get a new name?
None of the new guys ( louie, mamoon, ..... ) are there
And then, I recall we had a few transients too..
Like the girl who never, ever smiled.... ever
ALL OF YOU,
HAVE MY FONDEST REGARDS....
FOR THE NEW YEAR....
AND FOREVER....,
Your Doctor Collé
posted by Goreface69 at 7:33 PM
1 Comments:
As dictated by Dr. Colle:
Dear Teoman,
Please advise your parents that they shall soon be receiving the appropriate documentation in regards to my international lawsuit for violation of my privacy rights as protected under the aegis of the U.S. Constitution and the European Union.
Respectfully, Dr. R. Colle.
Hahaha
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