The Weakly Video - The Tonight Show - Dealing with the Public

Some people...

It's a boy!

19 years old and still kicking it.
19 years old and soon I'll be getting sodomized by some fellow Turkish soldiers in the showers.
19 years old and I am still not accepted in French society.
19 years old and I'm kicking it old school.

But most of all, 19 years old and I'VE GOT A GIBSON SG BITCHES!!!!!!!!!

The case is a really luxurious...


...as it can be seen from the inside funkiness is around; the guitar is seated in a soft layer of white shag carpet...


...and red and white is such a turn on...


...a close up of the pickups that rocked the world ever since the 60s...


...AND it's a Gibson!

So happy fucking birthday, I'm not special!

The Weakly Video - Le Demon du Rire

Allez comme c'est mon anniv est que j'ai pas envie que vous me fassiez chier je vous offre le meilleur du Seigneur Des Poivrots. Et allez sur le site du Demon du Rire et regardez les autres trucs que Durendal et Junior ont fait.

No way man!

Holy matrimony! I was just watching French TV and as I was changing channels and all of a sudden Takeshi's Castle appeared! ON FRENCH TV!!! What the hell man!! I checked the channel apparently it's W9 (the name sounds like some shady polish channel). Alright, cool, impressive; Takeshi's Castle on French TV. Wow actually. North America knows it as MXC MOST EXTREME ELIMINATION CHALLENGE STARRING KENNY BLANKENSHIP AND VIC ROMANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The only problem between MXC and the French Takeshi's Castle is that the commentators for the french version are shit! They are not even creative and don't even know what they are talking about. The show is called Menu W9 and I figured later on that it wasn't just about MXC, they just show various TV shows directly from Japan. The videos are actually interesting and the guy who finds these shows sure knows his stuff. They got the classic videos of japanese TV shows on and it's cool. The only problem is that both hosts, Benjamin Morgaine and Vincent Desagnat are complete fucking n00bs, I don't even know why they are hosting this show they can't even comment well and always say stuff like "I duno what's going on" or "I have no idea what this is about!" At least somebody could give them instructions this is really not professional, it's more like when you're bored at home, you mute your TV and dub over what's going on your own way and that's what they do, only it's bad, and this is what these hosts are. They are funnier when they're around Michael Youn's team.
Jeez! If you wanna show Japanese show you really need to get somebody who can understand japanese or at least knows how to comment on what's going on.
Another thing is that throughout the show they show stereotypical images of japan in their animated CG videos when they go from one video to another, and usually these videos have the classical stereotypical images of japan like sushi, maki, or maneki neko. The only thing wrong is that they also have stereotypical katakana and that's really stupid. Like you know they take japanese characters, and they put them randomly on the screen to make some kind of stereotypical word. It's like putting latin letters together and writing a name like nakreiamalighakshggkfghagnamewdsd. Not only that, but they also invert them, so it looks like what the 'r' in Korn is! I don't even know why they bother doing all this crap! It's so retarded! At least Japanese people try to make efforts so that their sentences make sense, but I don't know why this show doesn't even bother at least writing actual words on the screen instead of random characters together.
Overall if you fall on this TV show in France don't watch it it's just stupid you get no explanation on what's going on on-screen and you'll be laughing much harder if you actually watched episodes of MXC and you'd gain more from watching these videos on youtube or something.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, Fuckeder

I'm not too fond of French music, actually not fond of it at all, but I remember when I first came to France in 1999 the big buzz in terms of music at that time was Daft Punk who had just released their album Discovery. Everybody liked it, everybody sang it... well only one song, "One more time" (which was actually said like... 150 more times, and played a million more times on the radio!). Everybody who didn't have a particular music genre in their library liked it, it was the popular young music and every radio played One More Time. Everybody also saw the music video a million more times, so basically people got the point that the ongoing lyrics in the song were "one more time" and that other thing about celebreeaeeyayeeeaa. I personally didn't care much about the music. Then there was Aerodynamics which came out but it wasn't a big single and One More Time was still the most played on the radio. Then came Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger which I found was much better, I liked the beginning especially, the intro riff that sounded like it's coming out of a small alarm radio.
Anyway it was during this time of my life and late childhood (pre-teens) when I still dressed the way my dad liked it and listened to cheesy pop music and was a fan of the Spice Girls. But I knew about Daft Punk, I heard it and saw it everywhere, and at that time I didn't know yet about all the underground music and mainstream music clash, and to me Daft Punk sounded OK. I was not really accepted at that time in my school, the EaB Margueritte school, ie the Franco-French section of the EaB schools. I went to that French school for like 2 years which was when I became familiar with the perfectly well organized and logical French education system. This was also the reason why I decided to swap to the English international section where I was much better welcomed from the beginning. Anyway at that time I experienced a culture shock from having lived in a welcoming country (Turkey) for 7 years, and having absorbed non-stop English culture at the British School in Istanbul, hence I had built myself a full Anglophile and Anglophone attitude and way of thinking and making jokes. This wasn't too accepted in that French school.... well what the hell it wasn't accepted at all! Nobody understood my British jokes and the only good grades I had were in English. Note that at that time I was more into the British type. My American thing came once I settled into the American section of EaB.
So since I was quite an outcast of this intolerant and close-minded society I thought "maybe if I build or find common points with these guys I can fit in better!"
Boy was I wrong. It did nothing. But after thinking of that, I noticed their common centers of interest. The major one was Daft Punk, which gets us back to the point of this post. I thought "If I buy Daft Punk's album maybe I'll fit in better!". So I did, I bought the album, and I listened to it. I still have it but it's in a bad shape. I actually liked the album and I thought some songs were well written. When I read the credits at the end of the booklet I noticed some pieces had samples from other songs. I tried downloading them at the time when p2p technology was brand new in France and the rest of the world already knew about it. It was these times when I was a complete n00b and I used KaZaA to download my music and porn. Boy did that software give me problems, with all the 200 spywares it had on it! Then came KaZaA lite which was better but that's not the point.
I never got a hold onto the original songs Daft Punk sampled from.
Oh yea and if you're wondering; No, buying Daft Punk's album did not make me fit in better with the others. The best solution was to just quit and change schools which I did ever since and am damn happy about.
Since then Daft Punk became world-known, and when Around the World came out I was confused because I already knew this song because I had heard it like some time in 1997 or 1998 on Turkish radio when I lived in Istanbul, but I was confused to hear it like it was a new single that had just come out.
Now I don't care much about them anymore really.
But I have recently found something really interesting. FrenchFlava has published a list of Daft Punk songs compared to the original songs they sampled. I must admit, I was expecting Daft Punk to sample their songs from Techno and shit, but actually no! They sample their stuff from old funk and disco songs from the 70s and 80s! It's actually quite surprising, and now that I have found the original songs I think that these guys have actually good music tastes, and it made me discover new funk and disco artists which would be relevant to my actual mood since right now I'm into my 70's retro period.
So this made me think again about these guys, the have good music tastes, they're enigmatic, they signed big bucks with Leiji Matsumoto for their movie and music videos, and they know their stuff. I'm not a fan, I don't hate them but I don't adore them, but I think they actually deserve big kudos.
So yay, Daft Punk!

The Weakly Video - Steve Arvey, the coolest guitar teacher you could ever have!

I'd love to meet him... I'd really do!



I think here he's just acting out, notice how the bottle is empty

Oh lala (Part Deux)

Me revoilou après une bonne journée a Paris au quartier rouge, et je retrouve une mise a jour des publicités françaises, mais c'est pas nécessairement pour le mieux.
Tout d'abord je regardais à l'instant la télé et donc les pubs, et je vois une pub ou y a des femmes enceintes de chaque continent. Et d'un coup, chacune des femmes enceintes ont des contractions et on les voit se dépêcher a l'hôpital ou quelque part pour accoucher. Part description écrite, ce n'est pas facile a décrire, mais la manière dont c'est filmé, la bande sonore, ainsi que l'atmosphère de la pub, la pub en entier, avant que la voix off nous raconte ses conneries, je me suis dit "Ca c'est surement une pub pour soit EDF soit GDF". Finalement c'était une pub pour Suez, donc close enough; mais si un mec con comme moi arrive a prédire le messager de la pub avant l'annonce finale de la marque, ça veut quand même dire que les pubs sont à un niveau considérablement bas et prédicable et qu'il faudrait prendre un peu de coke parfois pour se remettre les idées en place et faire des pubs un jour concrètes et droites au buts. Je veux dire, c'est quoi le rapport entre des femmes dans le monde qui accouchent, et une compagnie de gaz et d'électricité française; je vous le demande, c'est un monde tout de même! Et puis pourquoi est ce que les bébés qui naissent sont propres comme des voitures américaines, ont les yeux ouverts, se marrent avec des clips sonores mondialement connus, déjà entendus des millions de fois avant, et surtout ont un nombril tout propre?! On est au 21eme siècle, on peut enfin faire des poupées assez réalistes, ou au moins maquiller le gosse pour qu'il ressemble plus a une pizza royale! Franchement les mecs!! Mais la question prioritaire c'est "pourquoi ils ne feraient pas des pubs beaucoup plus simples et directes, en faisant des fausses interviews de faux employers de Suez qui disent des trucs clichés comme "Moi, je suis Suez! Et j'en suis fier!" avec un message qui annonce quelque chose comme le gaz naturel est moins polluant que le gaz méthane"! Je veux dire, faites des pubs intelligentes, enseignantes, et directes! Pas des trucs qui tournent autour du buisson avec des femmes qui accouchent dans le monde quand même! C'est n'importe quoi!
Sinon ils n'en finissent pas a représenter l'Italie dans les pubs par des pizzas, des pâtes, et de la mozarella, avec une voix off avec un accent stéréotypé italien! Sérieusement, vous en voyez des pubs pour des Knacki avec une voix off avec un accent allemand?! Vous en voyez des pubs de taboulé ou de couscous avec une voix off avec un accent maghrébin? Ben non, en général les pubs de couscous ou de taboulé sont faites par Saupiquet, Marie, Tipiac, Fleury Michon et autres, et vous n'entendez pas "li couscous si bon pour toi mon frire!" Alors qu'il y avait pourtant une pub de Couscous Saupiquet avant avec un accent maghrébin.... "Saupiquet! Saupiquet! KKKhhhaa la viande!" (vidéos amateurs avec bande sonore originale disponible sur youtube) Je suis sûr que maintenant si ont touchait à un cheveux de l'accent maghrébin on n'aurait pas fini d'entendre les pieds noirs et les immigrés gueuler comme quoi sortir une pub avec un accent arabe est une insulte aux maghrébins! Pourtant on entend pas les italiens gueuler aux pubs de produits italiens! C'est comme les américains qui mettent toujours un noir par film pour eviter que les réalisateurs et producteurs soient traités de racistes!
Mais je préfèrerais qu'on coupe les stéréotypes et qu'on arrête de représenter les pays dans la pub par leurs accents! Bon ils le font pour Ricola, mais c'est pas une pub sérieuse de toute façon, alors que Santa Lucia c'est plutôt une pub sérieuse, donc sérieusement faudrait arrêter là! Pour moi une pub avec un accent est une pub pas sérieuse, et c'est ce que j'aime! J'adorais la pub Perliz avec le ptit chintok qui parlait avec un accent hardcore à la caméra en souriant comme le bon ptit chinois stéréotypé, et ça c'était bien!
Enfin bon, c'est bien ça les pubs Françaises! C'est pour ça aussi qu'on pleure devant sa télé entre deux parties de la Nouvelle Star.

Argh

Damn, don't you hate when somebody, or something, that you care about, or that you follow, or that you're waiting for, which you regularly hear from, does not show any signs of living for a while? This happened to me a lot on MSN, when friends I have to urgently talk to don't get connected and when I call them their phone is either turned off or they don't pick up. Also when I go on blogs or websites and they haven't been updating for at least a week or two, giving no news as to why their site hasn't been updated in a while, or what's up with the editor(s).
Sometimes I think of the worst that could have happened to these people. (i.e. Death). Also what really sucks is when I'm bored, and the things I usually do on the internet regularly have not been updated in a while, so I can't pass time. Anyway if I'm ever to stop publishing temporarily I'll always let you know. If I'm not a caring blogger then I don't know who is!
And I know these few months this blog hasn't been updated a lot because all I do is exceedingly chill in my room or at Parly2, so I got nothing to say at all about what I do and my experiences of the city. As you've noticed the last articles are mostly about me bitching about the stupidity of the French, and I'd like to write less about the French and more about what I see, live or discover. I've made out some good articles coming up this week, but anyway since nobody's reading this I know there is no real point in publishing all these words of wisdom, but I always have hope for whoever would randomly fall on this blog and, who knows, might like it and become a regular reader.
Anyway this to say that it frigging sucks when someone doesn't give any news for a while, I'm experiencing this these days, with websites that I regularly see that don't get updated, or people I wanna get unbored with on MSN that don't get connected anymore. And holidays are no excuse for the internet!
Anyway, surprises coming up this week... I guess we can call them surprises...

The Irony of It All

They tell you "Get outside, increase your culture!" yet once you throw in a whit of cultivation, they see you as boastful, discreetly hiding their guilty jealousy.

Ils vous disent "Sort de chez toi, cultive-toi!" mais quand vous montrez un brin de culture, ils vous voient comme un vantard, tout en cachant discrètement leur jalousie coupable.

The Weakly Video - 90210 theme song played 2 on 1 guitar

Man was that show gay, but the opening theme song wasn't bad. If you wanna do this yourself, you gotta find a left handed buddy and arrange the strings accordingly.

Alright stop!

I'm sick and tired of these fricking n00bs man. All around I see kids in tight pants, Vans slip ons, and an emo side-bang, all looking the same now in this country man. And you know what the sad thing is, these kids don't know jack about music man, that's like the saddest thing ever. I don't mind these guys dressing up with faggotry, but please get a grip on today's music!! French people really need a whole big brainwash on anglophone music man and should frickin stop thinking that the only kind of rock out there is gay british rock! Artic Monkeys, Jet, The Strokes, The Kooks, The-whatever-the-hell-any-random-name-you'll-put-after-"The", all these god damn annoying... bands are not rock man, they're definitely not rock!! There's a name for these kinds of bands, it's called "crap"! Never once have I heard in Canada people telling me that they like rock music and gave me names like Placebo, Muse, The Vines, The Fray, Kaiser Chiefs or Babyshambles, OK?? And you know why? Because to North American ears rock music has never made any "come-back" or has had any "re-birth" because it has always been there since Elvis rocked the radio with "That's All Right" in 1954! Rock has always been everlasting in North America, and that's why they don't take for granted every new piece of shit brit rock band that comes out and show it out all over the place trying to be up to date with modern music!
France has only got like 2 real big rock festivals, including the HellFest, North America has like tonnes including the Warped Tour of course, the Ozzfest, or the Family Values Tour!
In France they got Rock en Seine with Muse every year all the time and many shady bands, the Eurockeennes de Belfort which is barely acceptable and always has shady bands and 2 good bands, the Furia Sound Festival, where for me Furia sounds like Fury hence it's supposed to be a rock festival and this year they got what? Renaud, Joey Starr, Archive, Tryo, The Roots, Queens of the Stone Age, Sonic Youth, and only one good band; Billy Talent!! What the fuck kind of rock festival is this?! I like The Roots but not in a festival that has its name inspired from metal vocalist's growls in its name!!
And seriously, what's the deal with Jet?! They've release like 2 albums now and all of France is stuck on their one song "Are You Gonna be My Girl", say of themselves that they listen to rock when they only know this one song, and think that rock is about being british, wearing Ray Ban Aviators, and tight pants?! Well let me tell you something folks, Jet are Australian, they have invented nothing, in fact most of their work is taken off from actual rock bands like AC/DC, Queen, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones or The Who, if you want to listen to actual rock that's what you gotta listen to.
I'm sick and tired of this music shit hole. This proves my theory that mainstream music is dead. And you know why I'm pissed? I'm not pissed because of the ignorance of all the French kids out there about modern music, I'm pissed because I can't do anything about it and they'll stay ignorant all their lives.
Now of course I'm not saying that all kids are like that. You can't imagine how happy I am when I meet a guy who knows music, and I don't mean a guy who listens to real music, but a guy who listens to different types of music, or just one, but knows a good array of artists who are not mainstream, knows music techniques and styles and enjoys being inspired by the founding fathers of modern music in the 20th century from Scott Joplin to Led Zeppelin. Until now I've met maybe only 3 guys that know music well. Isn't that sad?

Please, for your own benefit, your personal culture, download music!! Download tonnes of music, discover new bands, download their whole discographies, meet new people, then once you download their music and like it go buy their albums at cheap places like amazon and go to concerts to encourage good bands, don't stay at home following advertisements and downloading only one song that loops on the radio continuously. Don't follow any trends and listen to what you like only, and don't say "I dress the way I feel like" when you know you look and dress like the majority of kids out there! Please!!
Ah and also, don't buy iPods, buy Archos players, they came up with everything way before Apple. They had portable video players like 5 years before the iPod Video came out, and they're like a gazillion times better than iPods in all aspects ever. But wait a bit before getting a new Archos player because every 6 months a new player comes out with much better technology. I'm finally getting one this summer hopefully after having waited for 3 years!

Anyway, as much as humanity and people are pathetic in many aspects, I know I won't be able to change opinions and french people will always be gay. I just hope some people will read this post and think "Hm yea maybe I should go look for other bands" instead of "no I'm happy with what I have right now I'll stick to Jet."
I mean for Christ's sake, I started off listening to the Spice Girls at 8 and here I am 10 years later listening to literally everything!
I am your new God!!
You will do what I tell you!!

The Weakly Video - Bill Maher praises the French

That is some really clever sarcasm.