Teoman's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

I would like to start by saying that I CAME UP WITH THE HIERARCHY OF NEEDS. At least, not THE hierarchy of needs, but what I call “my levels of establishments in life”.

Let me explain the situation.

I lived in France as a teen for seven years, and seven years of frustration and loops in time (no forward motion, just a circle of bullshit and boredom, repeated) got me thinking about several things back then that are the founding basics of what I believe in today.

I was always very frustrated with not getting what I wanted in France, especially from my parents (teens huh). We lived in the 17^th district, which is pretty damn good, especially us who were upper middle class people. We paid 2000 bucks a month for the rent. I don’t think you’d get such a small place for such a big price anywhere else in the world except in Russia and maybe Japan.

So as an upper middle class kid I had clothes, TV, a computer, the needs right. But for some reason, my parents kept on buying the crappy food brands I always hated. They would buy me cheap products, I remember being traumatized with a terrible terrible terrible brand called Leader Price. They sell virtually the same shit as brand name products, only cheaper financially and qualitatively. I remember myself telling them continuously to stop this massacre and get me REAL cookies, REAL juices, REAL shit. Instead all I got was Gravy Ways, M&N’s, Butterthumbs and Two Musketeers.

My whole family was even affected by my frustration, and that’s when we get to the juicy part.

My cousin, who is some close-minded, one-way-thinking, commie-embracing, no-to-money-but-I-still-have-a-job-and-a-rent-to-pay saying hypocritical person, like many French people, had her word to say on that;

“You have NO IDEA how lucky you are!! There are people in this world who would KILL to have Leader Price!! There are kids who would love to have what you have!”

Oh sure, you know, I had a computer, a TV, a bed, a house, but I’m LUCKY to eat Leader Price?? I feel luckier just searching for STDs on Google, on the computer that I HAVE, bitch! (I didn’t say that but that’s what I’m still thinking today). Isn’t that ironic, that we focused on living needs (such as our furniture) more than basic needs such as food in my house?

So I heard the same song many times, that I’m lucky this, that other people that, and my cousin even told me “some people don’t even have a BED!!”

So now we’re in business. I got really frustrated with all this bullshit, and it then came to me;

Some people don’t even have a bed. Sure, I’m very sorry for them, I am in fact very grateful for my bed, and my roof, but see the thing is I HAVE A FUCKING BED, THEY DON’T so IT’S NOT THE SAME THING!

You can’t compare me to some guy who is on a completely different level of living! You can’t compare me to people who don’t have houses cos I DO! Our needs are COMPLETELY different, even if the goal and motivation is the same, but it is NOT the same level!! Their future goal is to find a house, or a home, comfort. I already have all this, so wouldn’t it be logical for me to move on higher up in my ‘life goals’, such as oh I don’t know focusing on my FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL work, cos I go to school??? If I already have a bed and a house, isn’t it a given that I should get the food that comes with it appropriately, since that is on a basic level? Cos see… I also go to school! Betcha that dude without a bed doesn’t even have a school huh? Well I do, so IT’S NOT THE SAME THING! So stop fucking comparing elephants and airplanes! Get real, bitch!

And so that was the concept that I came up with on my own, because of annoying French people who just wanted to make a point but failed at it. This WILL be on the exam, kids, word for word!

Then later on, forward to last year, I expressed this frustration with my shrink, and she told me that this concept already existed Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. When she told me I felt so confirmed, so well-thought and so… right. It feels good to be right. I just wanted to swim back across the ocean, slap those bitches and say “HAH! IN YO FACE! I WAS RIGHT!!” And it’s even better for me since I never read books. I only learn from what I see, hear, and think, not what people tell me (whether it be oral or written). So coming up with a famous theory on my own is like re-inventing history (to some extent of course).

Imagine you were having fun with physics and came up with the theory of relativity all over again, all by yourself, without knowing? Wouldn’t you like that?

However, my idea was originally more of a ‘level of life goals’ than a pyramid or a hierarchy of need, something that makes you go on in life. First you start with a Bed, to sleep, because you can’t necessarily find a house. You need at least to find a place to sleep first. Then a place to live (a Roof), once you have that you gotta build up your inventory (Furniture) for basic living on both short-term and long-term bases. Once you have established comfort, a stable ‘HQ’ for you, you can go on with your other ‘life goals’ such as education, a job, or socialising.

As you move up you go up those levels, you go from a house to, say, a Car, or a Promotion, or Hi-Tech equipment, and depending on what you have already established in your life, in your levels, your next steps and levels are gonna alter depending on what you need next and what you have. All our needs are different though, so my theory is more of a concept, an Idea, rather then a theory, a categorisation, because Maslow also includes inner needs such as self-esteem or sexual accomplishments. But my idea is more of a ‘living life everyday’ thing rather than ‘establishing yourself as a person in life’, if you see the difference.

Plus I think more of a tree than a pyramid, because there are many branches you can choose once you have established one level for yourself. It’s like in RPGs where you pick a skill/specialty once and you can choose whether you wanna continue upgrading it or branch off to some new skill or specialty to learn.

I think it makes perfect sense, at least to me. I came up with it at 15-16 years old. If you were in my shoes, maybe you’d understand better why this all matters. But ooooooooooh well. What can you do when a spoilt white kid goes on a rampage? I’m still proud of myself, jerk!