Teoman's New Year Wishes

My wishes?? har har har! Yeah right as if Teoman would actually turn nice and wish you the best for this year! What were you thinking?? How can I even wish you the best, it's just a year like any other! I can't wish you my best wishes, because first of all my wishes are probably not the best, and also because everybody already does it enough for me.

As usual I spent new years night in Paris, walking my way between a full population of black people and arabs, all drunk, having migrated from suburbia for the night to make you live a tense street-walk, always picking a random fight in the metro as a result of aggressive tendencies or just drunkenness, and sometimes randomly wishing you a happy new year, getting all hyper for some reason at midnight, then discretely emptying your pockets while you walk by them in the streets crammed with traffic jam, a police van for a million people, and tonnes of thugs all yelling at each other, dressed the same way, throwing empty glass beer bottles on the floor yelling nazi shit in some fake made up english. I was luckily not alone, in this situation it's always best to be in a group. We, of course, did not go to the Champs Elysees as that is perhaps the best place for suicide if that was ever one of your new year resolutions. Rest assured, we just had to walk amongst the population because the RATP was clever enough to close the metro down on new year's night, so we had to walk to the closest stil-open metro station to get back home. I mean we are stupid, just not stupid enough to pass the whole night outside getting mugged and squashed like sardines. Oh well.

At least I was happy about 206. We didn't get any major catastrophes apart from the usual shit in the middle east like with israel-palestine or what happened in lebanon sometime in the middle of this year but I didn't follow it. Also we got Saddam hung but I don't care about that, I just ask myself "where do we go from here" I mean great wow you hung Saddam now what? How are you gonna apply democracy in Irak? Plus mean ol' Dubbya will leave the office in the Fall of next year although he kinda did already since the democrats now control the majority of the government (i.e the senate and the white house) as it happened in 206

Apart from politics what else did we get in 206? Well there was the new console war which was officially launched when the retarded Nintendo's Wii came out in the beginning of december, completing the list of contestants amongst Micro$oft, $ony. Sony, or rather Ken Kutaragi, has been playing S&M with the customers by launching a living room hi-tech device for 700 bucks, without including anything in the pack that could be actually important or beneficial for the player, like for example the mighty HD Cable, or the fact that the good ol' DualShock lost its rumbling device to be replaced by some kind of loopy motion detecting unit that gave the new pad the name of Sixaxis (wow a palindrome...). Also, Sony only provided North America with less than 200 000 PS3s in total although it had announced 400 000 copies. Kutaragi also ignored all the calls of game editors who were planning on making some great game PS3-Exclusive, like Metal Gear Solid 4 (TT__TT) or Assassin's Creed, or perhaps Motorstorm. Here's how N'Gai Croal puts it. Now players are on a thin rope of exclusivities, having to choose between X360 or PS3. If the same games come out on X360, especially MGS4, then I'll be getting the 360. Now that Kutaragi got fired for all his arrogance and bullshit, I hope Hirai the new CEO will make up to it and get back the exclusivities. Also I have to say that BluRay is cool and everything, but when the PS3 came out it was 206, now we're early 207 and its too early to impose the BluRay on customers. Look at what happened with the UMD, only one device can play it and since it's only for a specific audience, it didn't meet the success it was expected to meet. There are only three BR players in the world, two from Pioneer and the PS3, the cheapest. I dont mind the price, 700 bucks, it's actually cheap. But if we don't get the quality expected from all that money I'm gonna go Microsoft. If we get the HD Cable with the pack as well as actual PS3 exclusivities, or a rumbling Sixaxis then fine, Sony is excused as far as I'm concerned. Otherwise it's Game Over already. But don't even think about asking Old Teoman "are you gonna get the Wii?? It's sooooooooooo cooooooooool you can do this and do that, you can move your hands and all it's so fun lol" Jeez who do you think I am? Some kind of...girl? I mean sure the Wii had its success in Japan amongst boys AND girls, but that's just cos Japanese people are all into that gadgetty kawaii thing so it's ok for them. But I'm a western-asian man. Asian in blood but western in thought, and I want a good old room console with buttons and a pad, not with nunchucks, pens, infrared motion detecting double screened low resolution mumbo jumbo! I liked the Gamecube...I wish I had one, just for MGS: The Twin Snakes. Anyway now the PS3 is pwned by the 360. With games like Gears of War and 360 exclusives to come out like Halo 3 (I'm not a fan) or perhaps Assassin's Creed and Metal Gear Solid 4, or Viva Pinata (I know what you're thinking but it has nice graphics I find, it doesn't mean I'll get it) or even the mighty Lost Planet which looks juicy, Sony is really gonna have to dig far in the crap to find the edible maggots. As a result of Kutaragi's bullshit, Sony is gonna be crippled and suffer business problems for a few months until a couple of houses come up with a new game that will bust it all.
This is now 207, the console war has started already and once again Europe is left behind (it will never change for some reason). We got 364 days in front of us to see now how things will go on concerning video games and how Europe will react to the PS3. This website also gives a good breakdown of the 3 leader's business.

Good thing this year we got no natural disaster weather-related shit. The only thing I wanna complain about is the lack of snow in Canada. I mean HELLOOOOOO! Earth to Mr.Weather! This is Canada! The country that invented the cold??? Where is the snow I wonder??? We are way up north compared to NY and they already got snow and not us?? Am I like cursed or something? Like if I go to Siberia is all the snow gonna melt or something when I lay foot on the ground? Is there like this guy watching me and being all like "Warning! Teoman is now entering Canada! Cease all cold weather related activities! Postpone snow until further notice!" and once I leave it snows 20 cm per day?? This fucking frustrates me! The number 4 reason why I came to Canada was the snow! Jeez! The only time we got snow this year (at least me) was for one day in March in Paris! whoop dee fucking do, Basil!
Anyway globally no fancy natural disaster apart from the usual hurricanes here and there and the ongoing global warming crap, as well as french people complaining about the heat and cold.

In other news, more personal ones, 206 is to be remembered as the year where I finally made it out of the French scum hole. I got my IB Diploma, waved my middle finger at the french and took the plane off to Canadialand. So what's my impression of Canada? It fucking rocks, bitch! Toronto is like the best city I've seen, it's got all that I need, even more! Only 3 months there and it convinced me on the first day. You wants it, Toronto gots it! Just go ahead and ask for anything. Sure now I don't live there yet, and haven't completely settled in it but still the city is great to hang out in with friends.
On the other hand there are still lots of things that I miss in Toronto. I don't have the good friends I'm used to hang out with in Gay Paree, and also the campus in which I'm in sucks. It's boring, every night all that the guys find to do is drink drink drink and once you're done you drink again! As a result every night at 3 or 4 they go back to their rooms, talking in the hallways waking up the whole place, calling for each other, and the girls hugging and being all like IIIIIIIIIH I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU HAVE A GOOOD NIIIIIGHT!!!!!! Plus Glendon has few or no activities at all compared to Keele, the main campus. Like the cafeteria closes at 9 pm and at 6 during exam periods! At Keele the shops are open till midnight!! I mean wtf! Plus there are so many clubs and things in Keele, like the japanese club which I belong to which organises the best parties I've been to in Canada so far. At least there is also the Glendon theater but we don't meet that often and we only went out once to drink. It was cool though. If we could do that more often it would be better.

Anyway. What gives about new years? It's just one more year down in your life and that's it. People are gonna celebrate about it for like a week at most, and then are gonna get back to work for more rioting (in France) or more production (In North America).
But I must say that I am kinda looking forward to 207, since although I don't care much about it, I am quite curious about how the situation is gonna evolve in politics this year, since the big mighty famous french Presidential Erections are coming up and France is finally (I hope) gonna change its head. Who will it be? The Reds or the Blues? We'll have to see.

So a few interesting events are expected in 207, which I am a bit looking towards, like the Second Console War (at least from my teenage generation, the first one for me was between PS2, XBox and GameCube), the outcome of the Democrats in the American government, the French Presidential Erections of 2007, my girlfriend getting her diploma, me getting a blowjob for my birthday, the outcome of the political situation in Irak which I know won't be solved this year, and a few other things that might pop up in the middle of the year like perhaps a natural disaster or The Offspring's new album produced by Bob Rock (please God don't let him ruin the band please please please!!!) and if I'm lucky I might finally travel a bit more this year to some random countries like Britain, Holland or Japan.

But as you know, shit happens in 365 days, and it starts today; my penis smells like cigarette for some reason! wtf

So to all you fuckers, have a year...as usual

Not from Toronto with so much love that Love itself would say it's phoney,
-Teoman