Teoman's Band of the Month - Bad Religion

Lemme put it this way, Bad Religion is to Punk Rock as what The Clash is to Punk. Bad Religion are punk rock veterans just like NOFX and The Offspring. Such bands would not have started without Bad Religion, just like I wouldn't've listened to punk rock without them. They are one of the most respected and esteemed punk rock bands out there today, and you just can't ignore them.

Bad Religion are:

Greg Graffin (vocals)
Brian Baker (guitar)
Brett Gurewitz (guitar)
Jay Bentley (bass)
Brooks Wackerman (drums)

They are punk rock. Final point. Their music is straightforward, no enhancements, just drums and guitar, and of course lyrics. They are true punk rockers, they dress like they want to, they don't take no crap from nobody, they inspire aspiring punkers, and are a reference in modern punk rock.
Brett Gurewitz owns the record label Epitaph Records, which was the label Bad Religion created in the 1980s just to sell their records. It is now a major punk rock label which produces some of the best known punk rock bands out there. Gurewitz has also produced tonnes of CDs including NOFX's first records until Ribbed, some records for Rancid, Pennywise, Millencolin, and of course some of Bad Religion's best albums.
Shame on me I haven't seen them live yet and I know it would be a good concert just like for the Vandals. If it weren't for Crazy Taxi I wouldn't've discovered the Offspring nor Bad Religion, hence punk rock, hence rock, hence metal, hence just modern music. Bad Religion doesn't mean as much as the Offspring to me, but it sure does mean a helluva lot, and I'm happy to have started listening to good music with this band.
Praise Bad Religion this month on Goreface69, you unworthy puny little souls!

Not for hippies

As you lazy asses haven't noticed I have put up adverts right under the tunes. Feel free to click on any link posted in order to give me a cent a click so that I can spend it on hookers and booze. Hey at least I'm not shitting you.

The Weakly Video - PMS Survival Guide

You really don't wanna be next to a woman during PMS

Dude!!! WTF!!!

Man what the fuck is this shit?! I wanted to go to Paris today, Saturday. When I arrived at the train station I also bought a weekly pass. Apparently, weekly passes are valid from the day you buy it through the next 7 days, hence "weekly" pass.
So I hopped in the train and rode happily to Paris, to the St.Lazare station (with Dark Tranquillity in my ears).
Then I had to do this stupid transfer from train to subway in order to go St.Michel (I know you guys dunno the station names and where they are, but just get the picture that I had to transfer from train to subway.) Transfers in Paris are not done like in Toronto where you can keep your ticket all throughout the journey, you gotta have a new ticket for the subway, bus, or train each time you take it!! Bastards. But this doesn't apply if you gotta transfer from subway to subway, but it does apply for anything else!
Anyway since I already bought my weekly pass, I could just happily pass with the ticket in the subway, which is what I did. Well apparently, the machine didn't like my tone and decided to reject my ticket and fuck me off. Jeez, I can't believe this is the second time I buy a valid weekly ticket and the machine still doesn't accept it.
I went up to the ticket booth held by these nice Parisian civil servants (nah I'm just being sarcastic).
Well I was kind of irritated already since some already-civil servant appeared in front of the working civil for some info. What the hell is that for?!
Anyway after having waited some 4 minutes (it felt long) I went up to the lady... wow dude?! She had braces?! Oh well.. anybody can have some nowadays..

"Hi, that machine is being whimsical with me! I just bought this ticket today this has got to work!"
"Lemme see... oh well DUH! It's not the machine's whim! Look at today's date! We're the 26th! This ticket works starting from the 28th!"
"Huh??"
"Yeah you bought this ticket that takes effect starting Monday the 28th, today is Saturday the 26th!"
"What the hell... but I bought this ticket today, isn't this supposed to work for the upcoming 7 days?!"
"No"
"Dude, so what's the point of selling weekly tickets today if they'll only work in two days time!"
"Well that's how it is"
"So what the hell do I do?!"
"You have to buy a single journey ticket right over there at the machines"
"What?! Jeez (literally; in English to her French face)! Gimme a break!"

Then I lined up behind 8 people in front of the wretched machines to buy a single ticket. I actually thought I'd buy a 10-pack. As I was paying for my ticket, death metal in my ears, some rude gypsy lady just appeared right next to me. First I thought it was just some random lady loooking over, then I thought that random lady was asking me something, then when I turned over I noticed it was a gypsy with her hand out begging. I moaned in english "I got nothing!!" then she kept on moaning her request. I just flipped my hand away saying "Get outta here!". This was no time for me to be nice and say "I'm sorry I got nothing!". This friggin ticket story is such bullshit!
What's the point of selling tickets if we can't use them!
Jeez!
France might have the best mass transit system, but it still lacks logic, which is something not a lot of French people have. Pitty.
I was starting to enjoy having to pay cheaper than in Toronto for just a ticket.

Un delicieux gouvernement

Je suis comblé. Une excellente nouvelle!

Valérie Pécresse, la députée des Yvelines a été nommée ministre de l'Enseignement supérieur et de la Recherche Vendredi dernier. Un grand espoir pour l’éducation supérieure enfin entre les mains de cette incroyable femme!
Ensuite Rachida Dati élue ministre de la Justice, ancienne conseillère de Nicolas Sarkozy!
Jean Louis Borloo à l’économie! Bien joué!!
Et bien sur, François Fillon premier ministre!

Ce gouvernement s’annonce enfin déléctable, surtout maintenant avec Pécresse occupant un poste important pour moi!

Je n’ai qu’une chose a dire : La France va enfin avoir le coup de pied au cul qu’elle a toujours mérité!!

Oh lala

Hm... Je savais qu'en neufs mois la France n'allais pas changer tant, mais là c'est quand même sidérant de voir que même à la télévision, les publicités pour les produits n'ont toujours pas changé, à quelques exceptions peut être...
Voyez vous; Je suis présentement assis sur mon canapé dans mon salon au Chesnay, devant ma télévision câblée, et je suis en train de regarder des rediffusions de Un Gars Une Fille. Jean Dujardin joue quand même mieux que Alexandra Lamy... il faut le dire! Et la ils viennent de passer des pubs.
C'est incroyable, mais les publicités sont toujours aussi ridicules qu'il y a neuf mois; les acteurs sont toujours mauvais... je veux dire... ils ont des chutes connes, des phrases ou tout le monde se marre dans la pub...sauf moi, puis des sourires a la con a la fin des pubs comme des imbéciles heureux. Ensuite il y a des pubs pour les produits pour les morveux comme les pubs de yoghourt, genre Veloute Fruix... le breuvage du D'jeunz... ou y a encore des pubs ou ils font semblant d'interviewer des gamins qui, bien sur, parlent le "jeune" en éjaculant des formules stéréotypées, comme "top cool", "d'la balle", ou "trop bon". Jamais le yoghourt n'a été aussi branche.... ou ringard... à votre choix.
Et maintenant les pubs qui n'ont aucun sens sont à la mode. Comme la pub de Veloute Fruix... le slogan qui tue "Ca ne fait pas de toi un dragueur ni une rock star... mais c'est super bon" wouah franchement les mecs j'aurais jamais pensé qu'une pub m'aurait autant convaincue!
Puis tiens, Evian continue de remixer leur "We Will Rock You" toujours de plus en plus pathétique, ça va faire combien de remix et de singles maintenant? Et ils n'ont apparemment toujours pas réussi à convaincre le public que Evian ça rajeunit, ça empêche le vieillissement, ça fait des muscles, produit des cheveux, et ça peut aussi, en passant, servir à déshydrater parfois. Hm... Tant que les ventes d'Evian n'auront pas augmentées je pense que le DJ va continuer à s'en mettre plein les fouilles à faire toujours des nouveaux remix ridicules avec les bébés. C'est peut être pour ça aussi que je bois Volvic, au moins ils nous font pas chier avec la même chanson remixée depuis l'an 2000! Bon... on a quand même eu Zidane pour les pubs, mais au moins ça fait pas sept ans qu'il promouvoit Volvic! Avec toutes ces pubs, la déshydratation est devenue secondaire pour l'eau, et maintenant l'eau sert principalement à protéger d'un tas de trucs comme la vieillesse ou les fractures osseuses et je ne sais pas quoi d'autre!
Ensuite la pub pour McDonald’s... C'est quoi le rapport entre une chaîne de hamburger et un mec qui s'envole sur une poutre de construction...? "Si tout était aussi facile que chez McDonald's".... euuuh ya pas un bug la? Ca veut dire quoi ça? Si je mange vos hamburgers je vais me poser en douceur près de ma copine dans un parc? Beh je le fais déjà, mais ça marche po!!! Je fais comment??? Il est ou le boutooon????
Déjà au McDonald's je tombe toujours sur la queue qui avance la moins vite, ensuite sur la caissière pas agréable, ou celle qui met du temps... en général elle s'appelle Faridah ou Khadia. C'est pour ça qu'il faut aller chez Quick, ou les caissiers sont sympas...et ce sont des mecs! (Surtout le soir au Quick près du Moulin Rouge a Blanche, mais au Quick de Parly2 faut pas tomber sur une caissière femelle parce que ce n’est pas très agréable. Le caissier male est recommandé!).
Pis ensuite ils n'ont toujours pas changé la pub EDF avec l'île de Paques. Franchement je n'ai toujours pas compris le rapport commun avec des statues et une compagnie d'électricité Française...
Ensuite; la bonne blague: Les frères Bogdanoff présentent maintenant les pubs pour Club Internet! C'est quoi le deal avec leurs mentons? La première fois que je les ai vu je croyais que c'était des nouvelles marionnettes des Guignols de l'Info! Mais bon, tout va bien; Bientôt Hubert Reeves présentera des pubs pour Febreze à ce rythme la.
Bon sinon appart cela il y a quand même une grosse nouveauté dans les pubs en général maintenant! Sur toute les pubs d'un produit comestible il y a une fameuse bande avec "Pour votre santé, pratiquez une activité physique régulière"... OK merci les mecs, c'est maintenant que vous nous le dites, plus de 20 ans après l'apparition des plats prépares? Avec un taux d'obèses de 30% en France depuis les années 80 et un pays globalement en manque de fast food, et mondialement connu pour sa nourriture et sa qualité sanitaire considérable, vous croyez vraiment qu'on va aboutir à réduire l'obésité comme ça? Hey ho, si les gens veulent bouffer et grossir laissez les faire! C'est pas en copiant le style commercial des américains mal tout en restant anti-américain moralement que l'ont va être à la page!
Honnêtement, ce n’est pas un message en bas de l'écran qui va apporter un changement au taux d'obésité dans la france. Et puis croyez moi, si vous bouffiez ce qu'ils vendent au Canada en surgelé ou en plat préparé vous vous diriez que la bande en bas de l'écran est assez inutile!
Hm... Sinon M6 a encore change ses présentations de pub et s'est enfin mis lui aussi a la 3D.... bon les gars, vous aviez les mêmes présentations pendant moins de 10 ans, ensuite vers 2003 vous les avez change en donnant un sentiment de nostalgie aux téléspectateurs, puis maintenant vous les changez encore en moins de 5 ans, en vous mettant a la 3D; c'est pas très professionnel ça, en plus de passer des émissions connes... dommage qu'il y en a qui regardent aussi!
Il serait vraiment temps de changer vos pubs les gars, sérieusement!
C'est pour ça qu'on voit rarement de pubs Françaises dans les émissions de pubs drôles ou sur Internet! Faudrait sniffer un peu de coke, prenez de l'inspiration ça vaudrait mieux! Faites comme John Hamon, au moins lui il est original!
Quant à moi je continue de regarder vos pubs à pleurer devant de telles bêtises!

Awwwwriiiiight!!!

Woohoo I passed! I got my C+, I'm going to Keele next year!! (and probably get aborted or murdered some night when walking alone)

I deserve a blow job!

Coming up Next

As you haven't noticed, Le Calembour de la Semaine has ended as a result of the following:

-Laziness
-Lack of Time
-Loss of Interest and enthusiasm
-Loss of inspiration (shit happens)

The Four 'L's. Hence I'm compensating this late-weekly update with a new weekly update. After Le Calembour de la Semaine (which was the original weekly update), Teoman's Band of the Month with its weekly song updates, here comes a brand new weekly update, tada:

The Weakly Video!!!!!1! (zomg)

As you also haven't noticed, there is a word play in the title, I'll let you guess it. You guys are maybe too ignorant to get it.

So what is this new lame feature?
Well, the Youtube community grows bigger as months go by, attracting more and more geeks, artists, n00bs, and talented people, enabling the discovery of new talents, people, and bands.
Also, now with Youtube, you don't have to be sure to watch your favorite tv show on tv, since you can always watch it later on the tube, and even pause it. So since every month new videos, series, and stuff is uploaded on Youtube, you get to have a new form of distraction.
As a result, every Saturday, if I can, I'll upload one video, or a series of videos, that I think are cool, random, funny, well done, sad, stupid, or lame. I choose, bitch, so I don't want no suggestions, demands, or people posting stuff like "oh there's another video this same guy did if you wanna see it here it is!" ok???!!??!//!??? If I publish a video, it's just for the video itself, not its author. If I publish a series, it's because the series is worth it. I'll only publish full complete series if I find any. For ongoins series I'll just post the pilot episode or what I consider the best episode. You'll be amazed at all the crap the tube has.
Oh, and it will be multi...pluri...uh....cunni... uhm... It will be in any random language! So it could be as Japanese as French as English as Tagalog. Got it?
Starting this Saturday, look forward for..... "The Weakly Videoooooooo"!!
Only on GOREFACE69!!!!

Bored, and here's another uninteresting post about my daily life here.

Man Paris sucks. People suck, they all look the same, have bad manners, they all walk slowly, always get irritated easily, have no sense of commercialism, and all dress the same way! Ethnicity here sucks too, it's only White, Arab or Black. I wish for some more dispatched diversity like in Canada where people are all equal and have equal chances, instead of seeing minorities wearing cheap clothes or not being able to speak French correctly.
You know what's good? Versailles! Versailles is honestly a cool place. Clerks are nicer they help you better, people say hello when you meet them at the door, and there are more shops for cheaper here. This place is what I think France should generally be like. Also, Parly2 gives it a pseudo-American capitalist attraction although it feels like the 80s or the 70s. I like walking around Parly2 with my Hawaiian shirts and my Aviator I sunglasses with my friends. Shops are more diverse, and my house is of better quality than a Parisian apartment for cheaper! Buses have specific schedules like in Toronto although they are more modern. Versailles feels better than Paris. That should be France's capital city!
Anyway lately I've been warmly welcomed by France. For 3 days I had no phone credit (but now it's fixed), and yesterday an ATM was hungry and ate my credit card. There are so many damn plane-trees in this city that I got a massive allergy and hay fever. It doesn't feel good. My dad gave me his cold, so all my body aches especially my neck and my back. I have trouble sleeping because of jet lag, and I am rather bored without some of my friends who are still in uni. This month if I get some sort of subway pass I could go around and try out the guitars with Chiao and Hajime. I guess I can now converse in Japanese... but with a lot of stuttering. And he showed me that my Kanji knowledge has decreased. I'll have to study it again! Guh!
I also got to see my girlfriend today. She still has a cute ass, and her friends are typically French, the kind of guys who are in for a good laugh at summer camp, I was picturing them as uptight kids but they're actually normal and seem cool, as in... easy-going I'd say. I guess I look forward to meet them again. It's funny how girls like to beat up their male friends. I notice a lot of girls do that. It's a typical French way of showing affection. I wish my girlfriend could beat me up too.
But she's still cute. I think she liked my presents.... I mean I don't really know the meaning of "You shouldn't have!", but I guess it means "aww you're so sweet"... hm more on that later ... I guess.
I kinda wish we spent a little more time together, but she sure was rowdy in the bus.
Fuck, this is getting boring for you to read. I'll just end it here.

Back in Nam

Well here I finally am, back in idiot land, witnessing stupidity and impatience. It's amazing how people here all look the same, dress the same way, and all have a very close minded spirit when they talk.
It felt weird to hear everybody speak french all of a sudden. In the airport when I arrived I pretended to be Canadian and spoke English. French people still spoke to me in French although they knew I was anglophone! What losers!
Of course, have I barely arrived in Paris that I noticed that every French people is impatient, hasty, and gets easily irritated. Wow... this sure ain't no Toronto! Everybody here is white too! What the hell man!
A globally unsatisfied France, due to the late presidential election's results, greeted me in its particular way. The only place I felt "good" was at home, where my cats greeted me as expected, and my bed felt good.
Yeah, France still sucks of course, but my house feels good, my own little place. It's just a matter of weeks before I can hang out with all my friends again and feel american again, and walk around flashing my hawaiian shirts.
It feels good to be back home.

From Rocquencourt with love,
-Teoman

Thank you!!!

Thank you Frenchies for not having elected Royal to power!! Thank you for keeping Capitalism alive, and hopefully giving it a chance to hatch in France! Thank you for not having gone backwards and support obsolete political ideologies! Thank you for having made the right choice, not having voted for Socialism!
Now, if Sarkozy does what he says, France will finally be getting her kicking in the ass, and finally get a ministry of immigration like any normal country!
Yaayy!!
From the point of view of somebody who lives in a capitalist country as Sarkozy pictures it,
Fucking thank you!!
Now get to work you lazy fucks!

A useless post

This is it, my last day with all my stuff. I can't believe I've been moving twice in less than a year.
But I'm really doing it ghetto style; all my stuff is packed up in Dell boxes in which my computer and printer were delivered. Good thing I kept them. In about an hour or so Kenta will come and take all the stuff so that we can put it in his basement.
Ah moving...packing boxes is a bit like that chinese game. You know when you have a big square, and they give you several quadrilaterals that you have to fit altogether in that one big square without leaving any space? Well packing boxes is the same damn thing, the way you pack your books, dvds, cds, all shaped with 4 sides into a 3D solid so that the most space is taken up and everything fits together is the same damn principle. This is how it goes for every moving. I'll be bored this weekend. I'll have to pack my bags, clean my room, and make sure all my presents fit into my case!! My bag pack is filled with cables, wires, and then I'll put my comp in it. Moving is also my big time of worries. I mean, I never know if I packed everything, or if I packed something I might need in France. Just yesterday I figured I had lost my lock for that other bag I will stock in Ken's basement. Jeez!
I have no more TV, no more fridge, luckily enough I still have internet (and that's when my internet contract ends! Onoze!), and tonnes of pennies and cents.
Oh and, I also sleep in a naked bed. You know, a bed without linens, sheets or anything. I mean it can't be dirtier than what I've slept in throughout the year... (sperm and skin flakes.)
It always feels weird to move, to live your last days in a place you won't be living in anymore, back to its original layout, and how it looked when you first stepped inside it. The place you've known doesn't have that custom look to it, that look you gave it. It's empty, boring, and dull, everything is white, whereas when you lived in it it was colorful, well not so much for my room, but it was less dull than now.
Lolzers, that's the fun in moving. You gotta learn not to get too accustomed with a temporary place!
Oh well, it's not like I called this room my own, but it's always weird to live the last 3 days in an empty room. I know I'll be bored and hungry! I only have 42 cents left on my account, and I'm waiting anytime for my account to be refilled! Damn!
My plane is on Monday at 8.25 pm (I prefer night flights!), I'll think I'll be arriving back to Idiot-land on Tuesday morning. Ah... 4 months in my home. Chillin, pretending to be American towards the French is nice! I'll get myself a haircut, and perhaps work at Quick (yay!) or somewhere else in Parly2. My first job I hope!
Aaaandd I'll be getting a new guitar. I'm not sure what it is anymore... either a PRS or a Gibson... I'll have to try them out.
Well then!

From Toronto.... well not for long anymore.... with love,
-Teoman

PS: Fucking vote Sarkozy you fucking French morons!!! Don't you fucking dare let socialism take over!! Otherwise I'm becoming Canadian or fully Turkish! I don't want to step on fucking socialist concrete on Tuesday morning when I arrive!! Do the right thing!! (please?)

Teoman's Band of the Month - NOFX

I'll make it simple this month and go with NOFX. You can't ignore them if you like punk rock, they're pioneers of their style, to be juxtaposed with recent punk rock veterans like The Offspring or Bad Religion. I just love them.

NOFX are:

Fat Mike (Vocals, Bass)
El Hefe (Guitar, Trumpet)
Eric Melvin (Guitar)
Smelly (Guitar)

I never had the privilege to see them live, but I know I won't hesitate to go see them if they ever come by a town I'm in. That's the thing with living in two countries, if they come to Toronto and Paris, I could always see them twice, just like what I'll do with Finntroll!
But NOFX I would do anything for them. They're the luckiest independent band alive, since they the only band to have achieved such a success independently, and turned down major record labels such as MTV. They used to be inspired by bands such as Bad Religion or the Misfits, but now they do most of the influencing, and it's a good thing! Musically and methodically talented, skills, experience, truth, these values have stayed the same for more than 20 years in the band now, as this will be shown in an upcoming DVD of the band; "20 Years of Fucking Up" coming up some time this year or next year!
A new live album is planned to come out since they recorded some shows in San Francisco earlier this year... sounds juicy.
What is awesome about this band is that they go to countries where they are not advertised at all, they just did shows in Bali, Jakarta, Burma, they had two shows in Taipei (the second one they added it randomly since they seemed to have free time)... Turkey one day? Guys? Please?
They are an inspiration to me; if you look at all the places they get to play and visit, it must be so awesome getting to eat lots of food, meet fans from around the world, and get to see tonnes of cities!
Anyway it's obvious this band cares for its fans and knows how to do concerts. They brag a lot about it, but oh well, it's their quality! Too bad there aren't enough bands like these guys.
The little anecdote that most of the fans know; Smelly the drummer doesn't drink at all anymore ever since he went to rehab in the 90s.
Another classic everybody knows: at the 1998 warped tour they threw 5000 bucks in 1 dollar bills into the audience, because they claimed that the sound of Bad Religion's concert sucked, and NOFX wasn't going to play, Mike thought the kids got ripped off so they threw their part of the bargain in the audience, for the better!