What kind of shit is that?!
Ok I'm not a big alcohol partisan, and like any other country, Canada has its blows.
Last night I went to the Absynthe pub with Hiroshi and I ordered a pint... turns out I meant a "jar" of beer... not a glass... so basically I got lost in translation, here they call a jar a pitcher. Fine, that's just my fault for being foreign.
Then, we got ourselves some nice ass nachos and a chili dog. Yum yum, but after a while we figured the pitcher was tooooo much for us to finish! Same went with the nachos! And I'm a big eater usually, but I had already eaten and drunk at a party before that. So what gives? Well it's ok, I just thought we could always make it a doggy bag and bring it outside.
I go up to the barman, ask him to put all this happy stuff to take away. He comes back with a box within it the nachos. I also ask him "Could you also please put the beer in something like a bottle... or a big cup with a lid maybe..." and he tells me "that is absolutely impossible". I look at him at first thinking "oh maybe he doesnt' have empty bottles or cups to put this in hm" so I ask him "Oh well why so?"
"You don't know? You're basically not allowed to walk around with open alcohol outside"
"huh?"
"Yeah if you ever get caught with alcohol outside you won't be able to come back here ever again"
"You're kidding me!"
"No I'm serious, it's illegal here!"
"It's illegal to drink alcohol outside?!"
"Yea it's pretty brutal! After that we will have lots of problems with the board!"
"What the hell..."
It's stunning the bullshit the WCTU managed to stir up till today in the early 20th century. Now because of them Canadians gotta get their booze from specific shops (LCBO being apparently the only one), are not allowed to drink it outside, and check ID everytime. Sheesh... this is the 21st century! This isn't battle for ethics anymore! Why does it have to be so uptight?
Anyway as I said I don't mind not having to drink alcohol, but still, it sucks not to be free of alcohol around!
I mean sure, getting drunk is pointless and basically once you puke it all you call it "an awesome night", but that's not the reason to be so uptight about it. It's by limiting it that you create frustration and people always crave for more of it, kinda like with me and sex!
So yeah, Canada a freer country? Sure, just really uptight on alcohol. Thank you very much, Catholic Mothers, you fuckers!
By the way, I went for the first time in an LCBO today. Turns out it stands for Liquor Control Board of Ontario. Damn. I thought it was just a fancy name for a shop, but it turns out it's directly linked with authorities and the government! Jeez.
But because of all this craze around beer, when I stepped into the LCBO I thought it'd be packed with frat boys and bros, all raging on the Coors and the Mooseheads, like a heard of vultures, all yelling "BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER!!!"
But no, it was basically empty. Interesting. I got myself a nice bottle of Martini. Their choice of French wine is pathetic. It basically has big names like Chateauneuf du Pape, Beaujolais and some other stuff, but it matches in no way with the Nicolas liquor stores in France. It's also funny when I tell Canadians that in France and Turkey you can buy your alcohol anywhere, randomly just in supermarkets without any problem and they look at me like it's the most amazing thing on earth! "Seriously?? Holy Shit!! No way!!"
Hey... I just got an idea for a skit...
From Toronto with a skit
-Teoman
Last night I went to the Absynthe pub with Hiroshi and I ordered a pint... turns out I meant a "jar" of beer... not a glass... so basically I got lost in translation, here they call a jar a pitcher. Fine, that's just my fault for being foreign.
Then, we got ourselves some nice ass nachos and a chili dog. Yum yum, but after a while we figured the pitcher was tooooo much for us to finish! Same went with the nachos! And I'm a big eater usually, but I had already eaten and drunk at a party before that. So what gives? Well it's ok, I just thought we could always make it a doggy bag and bring it outside.
I go up to the barman, ask him to put all this happy stuff to take away. He comes back with a box within it the nachos. I also ask him "Could you also please put the beer in something like a bottle... or a big cup with a lid maybe..." and he tells me "that is absolutely impossible". I look at him at first thinking "oh maybe he doesnt' have empty bottles or cups to put this in hm" so I ask him "Oh well why so?"
"You don't know? You're basically not allowed to walk around with open alcohol outside"
"huh?"
"Yeah if you ever get caught with alcohol outside you won't be able to come back here ever again"
"You're kidding me!"
"No I'm serious, it's illegal here!"
"It's illegal to drink alcohol outside?!"
"Yea it's pretty brutal! After that we will have lots of problems with the board!"
"What the hell..."
It's stunning the bullshit the WCTU managed to stir up till today in the early 20th century. Now because of them Canadians gotta get their booze from specific shops (LCBO being apparently the only one), are not allowed to drink it outside, and check ID everytime. Sheesh... this is the 21st century! This isn't battle for ethics anymore! Why does it have to be so uptight?
Anyway as I said I don't mind not having to drink alcohol, but still, it sucks not to be free of alcohol around!
I mean sure, getting drunk is pointless and basically once you puke it all you call it "an awesome night", but that's not the reason to be so uptight about it. It's by limiting it that you create frustration and people always crave for more of it, kinda like with me and sex!
So yeah, Canada a freer country? Sure, just really uptight on alcohol. Thank you very much, Catholic Mothers, you fuckers!
By the way, I went for the first time in an LCBO today. Turns out it stands for Liquor Control Board of Ontario. Damn. I thought it was just a fancy name for a shop, but it turns out it's directly linked with authorities and the government! Jeez.
But because of all this craze around beer, when I stepped into the LCBO I thought it'd be packed with frat boys and bros, all raging on the Coors and the Mooseheads, like a heard of vultures, all yelling "BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER!!!"
But no, it was basically empty. Interesting. I got myself a nice bottle of Martini. Their choice of French wine is pathetic. It basically has big names like Chateauneuf du Pape, Beaujolais and some other stuff, but it matches in no way with the Nicolas liquor stores in France. It's also funny when I tell Canadians that in France and Turkey you can buy your alcohol anywhere, randomly just in supermarkets without any problem and they look at me like it's the most amazing thing on earth! "Seriously?? Holy Shit!! No way!!"
Hey... I just got an idea for a skit...
From Toronto with a skit
-Teoman
posted by Goreface69 at 2:44 AM
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