And we're back (part 1)

Jeez I thought I'd never get out of this writer's block...but this is just this one time. I think I'll be back into it once I'm done with this article

So what should I start off with? Well yesterday...
Yesterday Friday 9th I went with a japanese friend from Japanese class (called Kenta) to a good japanese restaurant downtown called Sushi D, with the quality of North American service: all you can eat for less than 20 bucks depending on what you get. If you get everything you want on the menu as "all you can eat" it's 18.99. For Sushis and Makis it's 15.99. For makis only it's 12.99. Actually I'm not sure if these are the correct prices but it revolves around something like that. They have their own makis with funky names like Spider, Tiger, Dragon, Volcano or Scorpion... with real pieces of spider, tiger, dragon, volcano (cooked on radioactive lava) or scorpion. Hmm hmm love that chicken.
It was really good, the rolls were rice rolls instead of seaweed rolls but they were damn good. The wasabi was strong though and I wasn't expecting that. And you know what happens when you eat something you didn't expect to be hot! But being Turkish (hence Asian) I just let the tears flow and went on with eating more rice to appease it (I go commando; NO WATER! HARHAR). Urgh. One type of roll comes in 6 or 3 bits. We each got a dragon, tempura, scorpion, spider, alaska, salmon, volcano and a couple of others. That made a total of about 8 rolls each, so about 40 bits of rolls. Yum. Just a reminder, they charge you for any leftovers, but you know me, "leftovers" does not appear in my dictionary. I'm not the type to take pictures of the food I get served at restaurants unless it's a hamburger, so I didn't take any pictures.

Today was busy. It all started with me waking up. I had to be at 5 at the Ricoh Coliseum to attend a hockey game with minor league Toronto Marlies vs Hamilton Bulldogs. There would be a pre-game at 5 (which is basically the teams warming up, and a guide to tell you stuff, quiz you and give you prizes if you guess right).
At 4 I had diarrhea so I went to take a dump, as a result I left at 4.12 and could only get the next bus at 4.32. Then I had to take the subway and the streetcar... I arrived at the coliseum at 5.30! Damn a whole hour to get downtown. On my way I enjoyed the fine melodies of Finntroll's new album (out on the 28th March, bitches!!) which was yummy. I asked the streetcar driver

"Do you know where the Ricoh Coliseum is?"
"Yes I do" and she smiled at me
"....."
"Do you want me to tell you where it is?" In a sarcastic but playful way
"Sure"
"It's at the last stop you can't miss it"
"Oh thanks"

She was nice, I actually appreciated her smile, tone, and sarcasm, though I was the one wearing the sarcasm tee. It sucks though since here everybody is much more sarcastic than me, I feel like I don't deserve this t shirt anymore. I should keep it for France to annoy my family.

Luckily it wasn't too late for the pre-game. I won a prize at the quiz, a 2006-2007 Media Guide of the Maple Leafs and the Marlies. It's basically a complete and detailed almanac of all the events of both teams during last season. To clear it up; the Maple Leafs are the national hockey team, and the Marlies are in the minor league, just people who we call when a member of the Leafs is injured or something. But they are professionals still. The Leafs are part of the NHL, but the Marlies are part of the AHL. Don't ask me. Just Fucking Google it.
Here's the first thing you see when you come into the coliseum:

Cool. Then when you step into the ring you get this

I went around the ring to see the food they served and what was cool. Pizzas... pizzas... pizzas... pizzas... more pizzas... oh pop corn! Do they have it sugary? Oh what's this?!...

Holy guacamole! It's a PS2 booth in a hockey coliseum! God Bless this country! I didn't even ask for it and it was there! They had some bad sports games like NHL (an old one), some ATV game, a baseball game (snor) but they also had a demo of Shadow of the Colossus. The graphics and animations are indeed very good on it, but it's a quite greedy game so the framerate is pretty low. But tits ok.

Then I thought I had seen it all so I went to sit at my place. I was outta luck there, I was sitting next to frenchies. And I saw this one bitch from Brittany. She's an exchange student from Rennes in her 3rd year. I thought she had left cos I haven't seen her since Christmas break. She's that annoying french type, you know who I'm talking about, those damn annoying people who come to a country and complain about it non stop? That bitch told me stuff like

"The City Hall is a joke, did you see it?! It's a big 60 floor tall building built in the 70s!! Our city hall has been the same for 100 years, at least WE kept it authentic"

Right... with tiny offices, unventilated waiting rooms, dirty linoleum, unorganised files and blinking lights that haven't been changed in over 40 years? Yes I agree... france's city halls are the best, since we kept them just as they were when they were first built (But Rocquencourt's city hall is nice, clean, brand new and upgraded yearly). Woop dee doo. Another one she told me

"Dude when I saw the subway I was like wtf there are only 3 lines where the hell do you wanna go with that?!"

Bitch! The subway was first built in the 1950s in Toronto, and is still in expansion (soon to serve York University with its own station woohoo!)! The Parisian Metro was built in 1900 no shit they're gonna have a wider network than in Toronto!
But since I am hypocritical, I just nodded to what she said. You go ahead and disagree with a Breton and you'll see what you'll get yourself into.
Anyway she was there, for some reason. I just saw her and never looked at her again. This was what I could see though

This was during the warm up. They basically hit the pucks into the nets and made the goalie catch them one by one in a chain.
The services there were weird man. I walked around the pop corn (or cock porn) stands to see what they had. I asked this one lady if they had sugar popcorn, and she said yes. So I ordered one small with a bottle of coke, as I was about to pay I tasted a cock porn, and it was salty!!! I told her

"This is salty. I asked for sugar popcorn"
"Yes this is popcorn" (she was indian or pakistani or something...brown)
"You said you had sugar popcorn. This is salty popcorn"

Without saying a word she directly grabbed the porn and the coke and put them back where they came from, without a single word or a single look, and cancelled the operation on her cash box. I mumbled "fuck you" and left.
I figured I had 10 bucks cash so I just bought a coke at this other booth. This one was weird, they served the coke in a bottle (oh joy!) and unscrewed the cap for you ("good thing" I thought at first) but then took it off and threw it away... so they basically served me an uncapped bottle of coke... I just thought "wtf" and had to be careful not to spill the bottle at any time during the game! That was a first for me... They really are bad with service in that coliseum. At least the ticket booths and the door people were warm.

So the game started. At first we all had to rise for the anthem. This young black chick sang the anthem. She seemed nervous, her voice was trembly and she hit the wrong notes and sometimes sounded flat. She sang it a capella. We all stood up, even me. Even the french! I wasn't expecting that.
Of course they were for the Hamilton Bulldogs, not Toronto! I had to expect that.
The coliseum wasn't full at all, in fact I was free to move to the very front rows. For some reason I decided not to. But I'll do it next time. There were no inspections or anything.

So this is what it looked like from up there

And this

And that

The Marlies are the white dudes. The Bulldogs are the red dudes. The Marlies mascot was retarded. Duke the Dog is the name. He just walked around trying to be funny by thumping when he walked and not talking at all. The thing is with mascots, is that you never know what to say to them since they're not allowed to talk! They make these weird movements with their arms like in a GTA game cut scene and you don't know what they want to convey, plus you don't know if they're looking at you or not! The dog came up to my row and pointed two fingers like The Fonz, so I was like "wassup" and he does it again... so I was like "yea..." and he then does these things with his hands like moves his arms around and waves his hands in all directions once again like in a cut scene from GTA, but then I didn't know if it was for me or not... so I was like "cool". Luckily this little dude came up to him to ask for an autograph. Phew. When I was a kid I used to be super shy of mascots. Everytime I went to DisneyLand I was more afraid to meet a mascot than go on the rides. I was all like "PLEASE MAKE SURE MICKEY'S NOT AROUND I DON'T WANNA SEE HIM!!!!" I duno why... maybe I didn't want him to embarass me, maybe I was shy... maybe I didn't want my dad to say "oooooooh look!!! Look who it is!! You know him right? What's his name? You know his name don't you?" (imagine then Mickey being all like "SAY MY NAME BIATCH!!!!!!!! WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW HUH, YOU LITTLE FAGGOT!!").
But seriously the mascot didn't last long and moved along, still thumping. The French enjoyed it and giggled... like japanese girls.

After 40 minutes of game (and one half time), during the second half time there were the Timbits that went to play on the ice. The Timbits are normally little pastries sold at Tim Hortons restaurants. Tim Horton was himself a hockey player. And Tim Hortons is kinda like the French Flunch, or a local american restaurant where they serve anything from soup to sandwiches to breakfast to deserts. No burgers though. In hockey, the Timbits are the juniors. The future hockey players of Canada I guess. They were too nice on the ice (hey that rhymes!). They were slow and gentle with the puck, they barely touched each other. I wasn't expecting such softness after a kine of wild sweaty men sodomising each other against the ring windows all running after a puck and wildly jumping on each other in a massive orgy.
Here's what they looked like (oh yea I wouldn't miss the shot!)

It's kind of cute. Imagine if it were chicks or kittens. I'd laugh my ass off by such cuteness, all these kittens running on the ice slipping and falling (like in Bambi). But here it was kids so I was more like "HAHA LOOK HE FELL!!" (to myself... yes I was alone, nobody could come with me TT__TT)

So the game ended, 1 to nothing for the Bulldogs. Sucks... I was for the Marlies! But it was fun seeing all these guys savagely assaulting each other, knocking out the windows and ring walls with loud noises and sweaty orgies. I was expecting a fight though... a hockey game without a fight is like being in France without going to Quick... or making an omelette without breaking eggs.... or having sex without a condom (this subliminal message was brought to you by Durex) You can't have a good game without a good fight. Hockey is really a man's sport! I'd love to see a Turkish hockey game!

Tune in next for part 2.